One of Those DAYS!

I, Melanie H. Moore, am in one of my rare moods. I am having a horrendous day and I'm on the verge of tears. I am so frickin MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just found out I failed BOTH of my bio tests that I studied extremely hard for. So now I have to take the class over again. That's great... real great. A whole summer wasted. Now my fall semester is ruined, my graduation is delayed YET ANOTHER SEMESTER... dreams deferred... I'm so ready to be done with school. I want to drop out. I'm being real... I'm not saying it because I'm mad, that's really how I feel. Every semester something goes wrong. I don't think school is for me... I just can't handle it. I can't, I can't, I can't.

Okay, I shouldn't say that. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. But it's hard to stay motivated when you try your best and fall short every. single. time. This is stressing me out big time. My skin is breaking out, I can't sleep at night, I have mood swings, I get sick... it's too much for me! I was already stressed b/c I didn't have a job (finally got one, my first day @ Forever 21 is this Friday, thank you Jesus!). I guess I'll just have to suck it up and keep pushin. I'm not a quitter... never have been and never will be... something has to change, and I'ma figure out what it is. I can do this. I can, and I will. I may not graduate til 2015... BUT I WILL GRADUATE! That's a promise!

Let's switch gears...

So I thought I wanted a boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure I don't now. Tooooo stressful! I'ma just keep doin me... not worried about these dudes out here. I'ma stay single until I find someone who meets my standards. I'm not settling for anybody. Besides, I think being single is the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm getting to know myself so well! I fall more in love with me every day. I look around at a lot of my friends who are in relationships and they are soooo dependent on their boyfriends... I wonder if I was that way. I hope not. It truly makes me shake my head sometimes, the way these girls have to be up under their man every single second. How they have to call them for the slightest thing... how they can't do things unless their man says so. "Baby, I have a headache, what should I do?" Um, go to the cabinet and get some pills you co-dependent freak! What if your man isn't there? Then what? Anyways... that's a whole different blog. Even tho I like being single, I do get lonely sometimes. But that's when I pray, lol. It helps... it's a lot better than sitting there moping. Can't do that, I'm not bout to sit around and be depressed all day long. Sorry! I have become such an emotionally strong person. The downside to that is, I get frustrated when people cry over little stuff. Lmao. Like... sometimes my friends will be crying and I'm like, what the hell is wrong with you? If you don't suck it up and grow some BALLS! Like ASAP! I'm a female but I don't cry much. I don't believe being a female is an excuse to be a weak ass crybaby! Maybe if you are a child, but I'm a woman. I ain't got time for that. Crying is for people who can't come up with solutions and who don't have faith that God will work out their situation. When is the last time bawling your eyes out changed your situation? It's stressful, it's painful, it makes you choke and gag, it makes your eyes puffy and your face all red... I am far too fine for all that bs! There are two things that have the power to make me cry: School and my son. That's it. I can't remember the last time I really, really cried... probably back in January or February when I thought my life was falling apart because my boyfriend broke up with me. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? I'm definitely not that girl anymore. That relationship was a learning experience and life as a single woman is an even more interesting one. Things just don't affect me the same way anymore. I can't quite put my finger on the reason why... but I love that about myself. Shit happens... sometimes life sucks... oh well! We all have to deal with it. If you're not gonna figure out a plan to get you out of the mess you're in, then there's no point in complaining.

Anyways... I'm hungry now. I'm still mad but I feel better... I might go eat and take a nap. That's what I do instead of crying, lmao.