Friendship

What is a best friend, anyway? I would like to hear people's thoughts on that, because I've been struggling with it lately. My true friends are like my family. Anyone else is PROBABLY an unnecessary stress in my life.

That being said, I always thought a friend was someone you can be real with, and they can be real with you also. After being hurt by an ex-friend a long time ago, I decided that I didn't need any new people in my life. People came and went, blah blah blah, but to be honest, the friends I have now are the same ones I've had ALL MY LIFE. I haven't made a new friend in 4 years! That's crazy, isn't it? Maybe not. My BEST FRIENDS, aka my brothers & sisters, have been my friends since middle school. So you know it's real. I don't play when it comes to them, and they don't play when it comes to me. We have our ups and downs, but a true friendship can survive anything, just like a true romantic relationship.

So this past year I made the mistake of trying to make friends. It was great at first! I loved, and still love the girls I met. But somewhere along the line, people's egos got in the way. Let me tell you something.... it is not good to think you can cut off everybody who says something mean or wrong to you. Because some of those people are the ones who have your best interest at heart. I feel that people put themselves on pedestals. They think they don't ever say or do anything wrong. They think they don't ever hurt their friends, so they expect their friends never to hurt them. But in reality, friends hurt each other. That's the bottom line. Husbands and wives hurt each other. If you can expect and get over hurt from the person you want to spend every day of your life with, then you can certainly get over being hurt by a friend - especially if that friend didn't do anything seriously wrong.

Now here's the problem I have. Some of your friends call themselves being "real." All that really means is, they say what they want and think they can get away with it. This is because they have ENABLERS in their lives. People that are scared to stand up to them and tell them that they are wrong. Now see, I'm not one of those people. I don't care if you're the biggest bully on the playground. If you're wrong, I'ma let you know. But the thing about a bully is, they can dish out the "realness," but they can't take it when somebody starts being REAL with them! Confused? Let me explain.

The bully needs to be taken down a notch. Somebody has to stand up to them and say "You can't do that. That's wrong." Unfortunately, the bully is used to having his/her way and therefore does not accept the fact that they are wrong. So you know what they do? They say, "No, YOU'RE wrong and I'm not going to listen to you anymore." And some of us have friends like that. Friends that don't want to hear the truth about themselves and don't want people pointing out their flaws. But those are the exact same friends that will be brutally honest with us and not have a second thought about it.

I don't put up with that. If you have a problem with me, fine, come tell me about it and we can talk. But if you're going to run away and decide we can't be friends when I have a problem with you, shut your mouth. "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Right?