...but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil. 3:13-14
I really mean that. I will NOT mention the past in here. I'm moving on, and this blog will be about my journey to becoming a woman of excellence, love, strength, and virtuosity! I absolutely cannot wait to see what God has in store for me. I'm ready to be happy :)
So much has happened over the past... 20 months. And I want to learn from it. I don't want to go back to being the girl I used to be - heartless, careless, mean, just an overall bitch. This time, I want a positive outcome from the heartbreak. The book I'm reading - The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord - is AWESOME. I am learning so much!! And I'm not even halfway through it yet. But I'm already changing. I'm learning to fall in love with myself. I've never been one to have low self-esteem or anything like that. But being confident isn't the same as actually LOVING myself. Taking care of myself and putting ME first sometimes. So I have already decided to spend Valentine's Day doing just that. I'm going to order in, make myself a warm bubble bath, light some candles and incense... I'm excited just thinking about it. I don't want to be with anyone else. I probably won't even talk to anybody that night.
Lately I have been feeling like... death is upon me. And it was a really scary feeling. I was always watching my back and looking around corners and stuff. Just being really... I can't think of the word right now. But you know when you always think something bad is about to happen to you? That's it. Then today, I came to the realization that death IS upon me. But not in a bad way. The old me is dying. I can literally FEEL a change coming. Like when there's the smell of rain in the air. I'm just awaiting the moment where I come out of my cocoon a beautiful butterfly. I am more than ready to be the woman God has called me to be. My life is going to change, and I can't wait!
So much has happened over the past... 20 months. And I want to learn from it. I don't want to go back to being the girl I used to be - heartless, careless, mean, just an overall bitch. This time, I want a positive outcome from the heartbreak. The book I'm reading - The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord - is AWESOME. I am learning so much!! And I'm not even halfway through it yet. But I'm already changing. I'm learning to fall in love with myself. I've never been one to have low self-esteem or anything like that. But being confident isn't the same as actually LOVING myself. Taking care of myself and putting ME first sometimes. So I have already decided to spend Valentine's Day doing just that. I'm going to order in, make myself a warm bubble bath, light some candles and incense... I'm excited just thinking about it. I don't want to be with anyone else. I probably won't even talk to anybody that night.
Lately I have been feeling like... death is upon me. And it was a really scary feeling. I was always watching my back and looking around corners and stuff. Just being really... I can't think of the word right now. But you know when you always think something bad is about to happen to you? That's it. Then today, I came to the realization that death IS upon me. But not in a bad way. The old me is dying. I can literally FEEL a change coming. Like when there's the smell of rain in the air. I'm just awaiting the moment where I come out of my cocoon a beautiful butterfly. I am more than ready to be the woman God has called me to be. My life is going to change, and I can't wait!
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