Letting Go of My Beliefs

I have come to the conclusion that if I want to be happy, I need to stop believing that he and I were meant to be. But if you have ever truly believed in something, then you know how hard it is to let go just because someone says it's not true.

How do I do that, though? How do I convince myself that everything I believed in was a lie? I have absolutely NO idea. It's not like I'm being stubborn and I just REFUSE to give in. This is really how I feel. Even when I try to tell myself that it's stupid and that I need to give up. There is something in me that keeps telling me not to give in. But I don't see why I shouldn't. All signs point to GIVE UP.

Now that I think about it, I know why I feel this way. I have seen my friends tell their boyfriends they hate them and wish they were dead. I have seen my friends' boyfriends do foul shit. I have seen a lot of things that I won't mention in here. But you know what comes after that? LOVE! Unbreakable, unstoppable, unforgettable, unconditional love.

So it is hard for me to give up, seeing all that. But I have to remind myself that he didn't have that kind of love for me, so it's not the same. It doesn't matter how I felt about him. I could be willing to love him until the end of time but if he doesn't feel that way, then I can't compare us to other couples. He would be hurt if he saw this, or if I told him this. But it's always hard when people tell you about yourself. I'm not saying he didn't love me AT ALL. I'm not saying that! I know he loved me. And I know he loved me a whole lot. I amconfident in the way he used to feel about me, and if someone was to say he never loved me, I would set them straight. But there's a difference in loving someone a lot, and loving them unconditionally.

Wow, talk about a revelation. I guess I never thought about it that way. But now that I know that, I think it will be easier for me to move on. It's a sad truth to accept, but it's the truth nonetheless.